I have had a rough week and it is literally only Tuesday. Anyone else have those kind of weeks? Everyone has them once in a while, work stress, failing tests, break ups, friends are acting unfriendly, many things can go wrong just two days into the work week. I’ve had an off two months almost. Not bad just off. But I really just want to focus on today.
Today: I found out that I am no longer a candidate for my dream job.
I’ve been looking for a job for a while now. I’ve been praying, my family has been praying, my friends have been praying, I’ve even had a healing Pentecostal pastor from another country pray over me (which was great). Everyone tells me that God has promised to take care of me. Everyone tells me God has something prepared so marvelous for me. And I know. I really know that and believe that…but I’m hurting.
Until today I refused to get discouraged over rejections from the thousands of jobs I’ve applied to. I’ve been qualified, overqualified, and under-qualified and I received zero chances. So after seeing that I was no longer a candidate that I fully believed I would have gotten, I cried for a long time. I prayed for a long time telling God that I am so weary and I am so ready for my promise. After that, I counted my blessings. Every single thing I’m grateful for I said out loud and I finally stopped crying.
I think I’ve been hurting so much because this job would be making a difference in people’s lives. I am so desperate to help people. I don’t want to sit in an office crunching numbers, making sales calls, negotiating contracts. I want to help people so badly. I fought with myself a lot as a preschool teacher. I was always so tired, I didn’t make enough money, I worked three jobs, I was over qualified, and had more education than anyone that worked with me including the boss. But damn, I loved those children 99% of the time. Seeing them hit milestones was absolutely everything. While some people looked at me like a glorified babysitter and that I didn’t have a real job, some looked at me as a second mother to their child, someone they could trust fully and someone who gave them the opportunity to go back to school and work so they could create a better life for their family. It’s not hard being unemployed, I clean the house and play with my pets. But what is hard is knowing I intentionally got the specific degrees I did because I want to help people and that it’s not really happening.
For anyone who’s a praying person, I would love extra prayers in my job search. I’m attempting to find my dream job in the greatest city in the States, Orlando Florida.
Truth bomb Tuesday will come back next week with round 2.
Put your dukes up, journey. I’m ready for ya.