I’ve been at my current job for about three years now. It’s great, I mostly love it but it isn’t exactly where I want to be. I work part time at a child care center at my old alum, the University of West Florida. Working part time at a preschool isn’t what I had in mind when I graduated a year ago with two Bachelor’s degrees, one in International Affairs and the other in Anthropology. So basically my friends are the same friends I’ve had since college.
I do have a good amount of friends but if I’m being real, I hang out with my fiance, my best Jessi, and her awesome boyfriend Lance. I’ve hosted girls nights and movie nights and I get a great turn out but all the time I see my friends doing things on snapchat and it kinda sucks cause on a normal basis- I’m always at home doing nothing while the man babe plays video games. As I mentioned I double with Jessi and our men whenever we can- so I have a grand total of one good friend. And believe me the three of them (Jessi, Lance, and my man candy) are totally enough for me to be happy but if their busy doing homework or working or anything that doesn’t involve being social, I’m alone. I value my alone time but dang it happens a lot.
Throughout college I put my time into international students, I totally don’t regret this because they have been amazing friends but most tend to go back to their country. So I’m left with a lot less of who I get to hang out with on birthdays and parties and whatever else. I’m still very much in the College setting which in theory is fun but it doesn’t feel much different from when I was in college.
I know i’m not the only one to feel this way. But maybe it could be avoided…
*While in college, pay attention to who you pour your time into. If it’s old friends you went to high school with, greek life, international students doesn’t matter. Just know, these are the people you’re going to know for awhile.
*It’s hard making friends in classes. I actually never made a friend in a class in college. I don’t suggest following my lead on this topic. Def try to make those friends.
*If someone seems like a bad friend or just kind of a crappy person, don’t wait around forever to see if they change.
*DO NOT pour 90% or more of your time into a boyfriend or girlfriend or your every now and then weekend buddy. It’s not at all worth it til you’ve been together a very long time or you’re engaged. You are totally gonna lose friends because they will think you are unavailable.
Maybe this seems like a total cry about my life post but I do like where I’m at in my life. I’ve been frustrated from friends who aren’t my best friends a little more lately but I still have birthday plans, I’m still getting married in a month and half, I’m happy. I’m totally looking forward to a career where I can hopefully get to know my coworkers and we can go out every now and then, have a drink and complain about work. At 23, you’re an adult but aspects of adult life don’t seem…too adult. And since you’re kind of stuck in the middle…that’s why nobody likes you when you’re 23.
***Disclaimer*** I have very very close best friends from high school they just live on the other side of the state and they are by no means involved in the frustration in this article. I’m the one who moved away. This was also written a few days before my 23rd birthday and have a very different life at this moment in time with only three months difference. Stay tuned to hear all about that!