After being married for exactly one month today, I’m a marriage expert (hah…). regardless of the amount of time, I can definitely tell you one thing that tears couples down. Honeymoon phase or not. One word, expectations. All of the premarital books said it and we all do our best not to go into the marriage with expectations but human nature doesn’t allow for that.
There are plenty of expectations one can have. For example, one spouse might think their life will be a steady constant routine, the other a roller coaster of spontaneity. My husband and I were basically on the same page when it came to that. Routine for basic life but any spontaneous act we could throw in, why not? In just a few days I’ll post about our spontaneous adventure we just had so be sure to keep your eye out for that.
Sex. When you’re first married the idea is that you’ll be doing it all the time. And you might but if you’d had sex previously it might not be quite as special or meaningful for either of you or in some cases, one of you. Spouses might also be exhausted. You just had the biggest party you’re ever gonna throw! Of course you’re tired, you can finally relax. You’re also tired from traveling! Your honeymoon, hellooo. You might be sightseeing, jet lagged, all of the above. Basically, don’t go in thinking you’re gonna be all in, all the time. Especially when real life hits you.
Home duties. It’s no longer a woman’s job to stay home all day to cook and clean. If that’s what you both decided, then fine, do it. It is also not required of the man to “bring home the bacon”. You. are. a. team. Work like one. Share the load, wipe the counter, wash your partners clothes and your own, feed the dog, and boil the water to make some freaking pasta.
Expectations are also a monster killer because it puts an immense amount of pressure on your parter. You work through the expectations like any other issue you have in a relationship.
Marriage is another one of God’s many gifts to us. Uniting two people that He, himself, brought together.